Sunday, July 20, 2008

Last Chance To See...

well not really but:

look at it... watch all 3 episodes before they come offline tonight!
i'm gonna buy the dvd.

other than that - i'm being Discharged!!!!
07/08/08(could've been 08/08/08 but that's a friday).

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Yeah well... erm. here...

this feels so foriegn to me now... i haven't posted in a long time... too much has happened.
i'm seriously fatigued, mentally.
all of the puppies have been given away. after a stressful period...
lets see - it started i think 3 weeks ago...
my sister was evicted from her house because of her ex, who filed an appeal and won back the house. this forced me to find a place for the 2 remaining puppies, and i had about 3 days to do so... fun.
but somehow i managed... thanks to Tal.
she took the puppy she wanted, and thanks to my brother i have a home for Nyuki... at least for now.

i'm getting very anxious towards the discharge... if all goes as planned i'll be a civilian again starting next month. today i actually finished all my obligations and only small unimportant things remain.. i seriously don't know what I'll do for the next 2 weeks.
i do know that i'm gonna start studying... i have to learn Chemistry and Physics by myself and to refresh my memory on Math and Trigonometry.

all this comes with even bigger problems - i have no job and my financial status is mediocre. i've got to look for a job, part time.

my birthday sucked, i people who i thought cared about me, who i thought liked me... stabbed me in the back... presents, the little i got, sucked. i guess its time to face it...
and just then my insomnia returns... as if a friendly visitor from the past...
and i slowly collapse... into myself, into darkness...

this headache, it doesn't stop.
it just gets stronger, a lot more furious...
sometimes i just wanna pop, just let loose the screaming, the mass of hate, loathing.
set free my anger, yet i cant, i am unable...
the thought of hurting someone else, is unbearable.
so i stow it inside, keep it locked away, secret.
hidden from the world, protected, safe.
the world is too dangerous for it... it wouldn't last a chance.
so i take care of it... leave it sheltered from the outside.

what i really need is a vacation, somewhere to let my mind drift. a beach, sun and maybe a few drinks.