Saturday, December 27, 2008

and like that... a fizzle, a war breaks out, i am alone once more

it has ended, for good this time...
me and Tal, we had our last talk, as a couple.
we aired out everything, it was a normal common conversation.
we both felt like we weren't in a relationship anymore, not for a while anyway, we felt we had to keep the relationship going so that we don't lose each other, and not cause we wanted it.
we'll stay friends, good friends... she truly is my best friend, but not a couple, not anymore, no.

i loved her, i still do. i wanted more from the relationship so i put more into it. but i didn't get the same back.

i'm crushed, hurt, alone...
but i'll survive.
everyone does, so why should i think any different.
i really need a drink now.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Reason why my weekend was awesome #12 -

I went Horse Riding for the very first time.
I didn't fall, didn't step in horse poo, didn't hurt my pelvic area and I had an awesome time :D
it's not something I'm gonna do every weekend, but once a month or two is sure sounding good to me...
oh well, got homework in Physics.
bah.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I dont cope well with these things

yeah well...
i've been so busy with my life- pushing forward, work, starting the university, studying, living my own life...
i constantly forget that i'm not alone, that i have family, family that i neglect.
well i just got the news that my great aunt died.
she was a big part of my childhood, and took care of me and my cousins...
she was diagnosed with Alzheimer about a year ago, and i haven't visited her prior to that.
last time i saw her was at a family member's wedding.

i do this all the time, i constantly push aside my relatives, i keep telling myself there will be time for visiting, next weekend, next month, next year, when i get discharged, when i start studies, after the tests....
but she's one more person in my life that i'm not gonna be able to hear or see again.

it's a fucked up world where the most important thing doesn't even have a value, where family is great but relatives and 25 cents can only get you a cup of coffee.

i never got around to understanding it, maybe that's why i distance myself from my family? maybe i think that if i get too attached i wont be able to bear the pain? 2 of my friends have lost their dad, i couldn't even imagine being in their shoes, yet i hardly speak to my own father, my excuse is that he's far away, in the states.

i think it's time i stop waiting for the right time to visit, to call, to see. i think i should just go and see my family, or at least call them up.

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Funnel...

My Latest Paper Creation...
around 700 pieces.
over 8 hours of work.
1 Led Candle
Origami - The Funnel

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Driving around in my Automobile

Scaring people with my brand new Guy Fawkes Mask :D
thanks to Hila, whom i owe a lot, specifically 11 lbs of luggage space, i received some cool stuff, including a Guy Fawkes mask and a 3/4 length jacket/coat.

loads of fun, i love the reaction i got from some people.

2 teens, around 16 years of age, walking around in the parking lot with bags of groceries...
out i come driving at around 40~60 Kmp"h, zooming past them, giving them just enough time to see the driver, masked as Guy Fawkes.
from there, i stop at the end of the parking lot, and slowly yet loudly turn around, noticing them looking at me and the car, then i start driving towards them fast, they run out of the way, but before i get to them, i turn and exit the parking lot.


it's a new hobby of mine - messing with people, playing on the actions that they aren't ready for...

a waiter, serves me lunch, i took a burger, now, just as he serves me the food, i ask him for directions to the restroom.
a few minutes later, as usual, while you're trying to take the first bite of the burger, the waiter comes up and asks if everything is okay... usual answer? yeah, thank you.
my answer - "You see... i've had this killer stomach virus, it's been doing havoc on me and the toilets i use... ooomph! i gotta go!!!!" and i run off to the bathroom.

from what i heard - the waiter was half laughing, half shocked.
i had great fun, and it was totally worth it :D

Sunday, September 28, 2008

once a month,hmmm...

maybe it's because of the first rain last night, or maybe its cause i felt nostalgic, or maybe because i got a weird comment on my blog from a post one year ago, or maybe it's because i had to share this pic of a (non edited!) piece of frozen Schnitzel i found in the pack of frozen Schnitzels i bought...
made out of real cocks???
anyway - Rosh Ha-Shana is once again upon us...
but before that, usually my posts are a bit whiny(but i don't care) so i'm going to try and make this one as cheerful and as full of non negative things as i can :D
so lets start with the good news - I have a JOB! well almost, I'm starting next week!!!
its a programming job so it pays pretty well, and i make my own schedule so it wont bother with my studies(they want me there for 20~25 hours a week, and they have no problem with me working at nights).
the new season of 'heroes', 'my name is earl' and 'how i met your mother' started off pretty good as well as the newcomer 'The Fringe' - looks like there will be what to watch!!!
my new camera is awesome, i've started taking pictures of my aquarium, there'll be an album soon i think :D
oooh and i owe the Eilat pictures!!!

Eilat Vacation


these all come from the underwater sea observatory and it's so worth it to go there!

i'm trying out iTunes' Genius thingy, it's supposed to create a playlist from songs that are similar to what you choose... it's not the greatest thing in the world(pairing Natalie Imbruglia's Shiver with Cat Stevens' Father And Son and Spin Doctors' Two Princes...) but it's still fun, kinda like random proximity playlist.
oh and Duffy, to my surprise, is a great singer. She has this roughness in her voice that is amazing. it's nice to find good singers these days...

anyway - About the rain, i love rainy days, the winter in particular is fun - it gives me the opportunity to assemble puzzles, read good books and sleep late :D. Tal and I did some puzzles over the past few weeks, they turned out great so I'll upload pictures when i can.

so... Rosh Ha-Shana, the Jewish new year, i love this holiday.
happy rosh hashana!
I hope everyone has a great year, filled with happiness, fortune and good times!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Sometimes all it takes is one little thing

Yeah... i'm a month free - a month of doing nothing, waking up whenever and looking for a job.
Apparently no one wants a programmer/QA/anything for a student job, cause i only had 1 interview... they called me after 3 weeks saying that they have no spots open but when they will - they'll call me, right.
meanwhile i'm going crazy, i hate not working, i hate being useless - so i did what i could - i went on vacation. 4 days in Eilat - the tourist capital of israel :) a great time was had, but i still felt empty - Me and Tal aren't going so well, she and i almost broke up yesterday - not with a fight, but rather by just talking about our relationship situation so far... we're still together, but barring any serious change on her part i don't really see this relationship lasting... i'd still love to be friends with her, but i really don't feel like we're a couple anymore.
and to top it all, i feel that most of my family and friends are taking advantage of me, and that it's my fault for not being able to say no to them(i gave up my camera to my brother because he needed one).
i dunno... i'm a bit confused, actually more than a bit. and now i'm going to sign unemployment for the cash.

i bought a new camera and it's quite fun actually, but my money situation is going critical.
i'm soo going to be a starving student(which might do me some good - i've gained a lot of weight).

Saturday, August 02, 2008

4 fresh windows installations, 3 boot sectors ruined, 2 hd full of data lost, 1 CD That saved my ass

That's exactly what i've been up to...
could have changed it to 3 days of computer work, but i thought it more fitting...
when this week started i bought new parts for my computer(quite a major upgrade - around $1500 worth of equipment), and it took me 3 days to get the system working, along which - i accidentally ruined around 400 GB of data spanning over 2 hd's... luckily Hiren's Boot CD Saved my ass...
Windows XP is a pain, but Vista is far far far worse.

anyway... i've been looking around for an apartment, finally... my price range is somewhat limited, and i desperately need to find a new job once i get released, but on Friday i did see the perfect place for me - it's a 4 room house with a huge front and back yard, right now there are 3 girls living there and one is moving out so if i can land that place i'll get her room, what more there's enough room for Nyuki to come with me too so that's good... now i have to wait and see if i get the place, i'm not stopping the hunt for a different house though, chances are i won't get that place.

that's it...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Last Chance To See...

well not really but:

look at it... watch all 3 episodes before they come offline tonight!
i'm gonna buy the dvd.

other than that - i'm being Discharged!!!!
07/08/08(could've been 08/08/08 but that's a friday).

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Yeah well... erm. here...

this feels so foriegn to me now... i haven't posted in a long time... too much has happened.
i'm seriously fatigued, mentally.
all of the puppies have been given away. after a stressful period...
lets see - it started i think 3 weeks ago...
my sister was evicted from her house because of her ex, who filed an appeal and won back the house. this forced me to find a place for the 2 remaining puppies, and i had about 3 days to do so... fun.
but somehow i managed... thanks to Tal.
she took the puppy she wanted, and thanks to my brother i have a home for Nyuki... at least for now.

i'm getting very anxious towards the discharge... if all goes as planned i'll be a civilian again starting next month. today i actually finished all my obligations and only small unimportant things remain.. i seriously don't know what I'll do for the next 2 weeks.
i do know that i'm gonna start studying... i have to learn Chemistry and Physics by myself and to refresh my memory on Math and Trigonometry.

all this comes with even bigger problems - i have no job and my financial status is mediocre. i've got to look for a job, part time.

my birthday sucked, i people who i thought cared about me, who i thought liked me... stabbed me in the back... presents, the little i got, sucked. i guess its time to face it...
and just then my insomnia returns... as if a friendly visitor from the past...
and i slowly collapse... into myself, into darkness...

this headache, it doesn't stop.
it just gets stronger, a lot more furious...
sometimes i just wanna pop, just let loose the screaming, the mass of hate, loathing.
set free my anger, yet i cant, i am unable...
the thought of hurting someone else, is unbearable.
so i stow it inside, keep it locked away, secret.
hidden from the world, protected, safe.
the world is too dangerous for it... it wouldn't last a chance.
so i take care of it... leave it sheltered from the outside.

what i really need is a vacation, somewhere to let my mind drift. a beach, sun and maybe a few drinks.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Well - i've finally got my Psychometry score!
i got more than enough for Animal Life Science, and so this year i'm gonna start :)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Finally taking the plunge.

Well there's no postponing it now, I'm on my way...
i mean tomorrow i have the retarded Psychometry test and already i've registered for Animal Science studies at the Hebrew University. it's all going so fast. By October I'll be released from the army(if not sooner - looks like around August I'll be discharged) and on my way towards the Veterinary Degree - sure it's 7 years, and sure they wont be easy but i don't care - it's what i want to do.

today my brain received a break from reality - i went to play with the puppies and for the past 3 hours i've been watching nothing but crappy "American Pie"'esc movies... and i really feel relaxed.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Rest In Peace Runt

Last night my sister told me that Runt, the smallest puppy from the litter was hospitalized.
he had anemia and his heart & lungs were stressed.

the doctor said that he might have a chance to live, but the treatment would be expensive - i didn't care.
even though i knew i was probably not going to keep him, i couldn't sit back and let him die, i told the vet to do whatever he needed to do in order to heal Runt.

this morning i got a phone call from the vet, Runt didn't survive the treatment.
runt

Monday, April 07, 2008

Bloody English Wanker...

I recently ran across Zero Punctuation and it's a damned funny thing.
what is it you ask?

"...Zero Punctuation is The Escapist's groundbreaking video review series starring Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. Every Wednesday Zero Punctuation picks apart the games so you don't have to. ..."

basically - a very fast talking, British guy reviewing games, without stoping for any punctuation marks at all...

highly recommended :D

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Still Alive... Still Alive... Still Alive!

God... i suck... 4 posts in 3 months...
yeah well i've been spending all my free time either with Tal or doing the Psychometry Studying...
it'll end soon though - the test is in 2 weeks :D
last night i did the first simulation(which is about 2 levels higher than the real test) and got 658, my instructor says that it's equivalent to around 700~720(out of 800). to get into biology i'll need around 650 so it's great :D

still no time for myself, 419 unread emails, not including spam :D
oh and in the rare occasions that i do have some breathing time - Crisis Core... DAMN YOU Squaresoft!!! Why'd you go and release it now????
ooooh i promised something!!! puppies!!!
The Puppies


so, how have i been? well it's not easy, relationships... i'm not used to them, most of my old "girlfriends" were a 1 or 2 date thing, usually ending before the 3 week period. it takes some working, but it's going really good, i love her... hope she feels the same about me :)
other than that things are fine, i got a little light of hope from my commander this week - they are working on releasing me in August instead of November which is awesome cause as of now i'm basically unemployed(no team, no work, no reason to wake up and get to work).

i've just spent an hour cleaning my room(havent done so in too long, couldn't see the floor at one point). and found some cool shit on the floor :D.

i'll try to update more, i promise. oh well time to clean the mailbox too :D

Saturday, March 15, 2008

First Photo Dump :D

Finally after 2 months, i've finally found some free time(1:30 AM!) and uploaded all the us pictures...
they can be found here:
New York 2007

AMNH 2008

MoCCA

New Years Eve - 2007 New York - Dresden Dolls

Florida 2008

Seaworld Florida - 2008



hopefully i find some time tomorrow and upload the Nyuki and Puppies Photos and write about... umm... stuff.
:)

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Aint Got Time....

Work + Psychos + Girlfriend + No Life = 0 Posts!
i have no time for myself.
and the sad part is that i don't miss it all too much.

i need to post news!!!

so Nyuki Gave Birth to 4 puppies! 3 males and a female...
pictures soon, as well as all the us that i owe you faithful yet unsatisfied readers :)

Monday, February 11, 2008

208

208 unread mail items, not including the spam of course...
i think unread emails should be considered as a time measurement...
"so Umm bob, when is the report gonna be finished?"
"oh i think in 50~55 emails, Jim, maybe 70 if i proofread it."
it works!
anyway, still alive...
valentines is coming up and i've got something special in store for Tal... so i don't want to ruin it by publishing it here...
i'm will post more when i have more time :D

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I LIVE!

well almost, i'm sick... first time i've been sick in 14 years.
not fun.
i ran a fever of 38.9º C(102º F) and was shaking so bad i felt i was gonna fall apart.
i got 2 days of rest from the doctor, and he said that i might need more.

but i'm feeling better now. much better.

still i guess i'm too lazy - didn't even copy the pictures to my pc, let alone upload them...
will do in the near future, promise.

oh and by the way - me and Tal are dating! w00t!