Sunday, December 31, 2006

I Bought New Shirts!!!!

New Shirts
what you see here is:
a Guinness shirt, a Mario 1-UP shirt, an Atari shirt
and under them is a Cloning is Cool shirt

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Meeting up with old friends...

Well Not that old, but i'll get to that...
Wednesday evening i made plans to eat lunch with a couple of friends of mine, who through a "Combina" - a deal they made - got a year off from the army in order to work in the u.s.(they have to return to serve after that).
i actually have a funny story about the first time i met them here:
i called them up and got the directions to their house, but instead of going to apt 9b, i remembered apt 7b... i rang the doorbell, and the door opened.
i went to the 7'th floor, and saw that the door for 7b was opened, so i went in, there i saw a woman, around 30 years old, looking at me, she was shocked for a second and then asked me if i was Tom... i said no, and asked her if she knew where my friends lived... she said no and told me to get out of her apt. :D
so Thursday i go all the way down to lower manhattan and eat lunch with them where they work. we made plans to meet up that night in middle manhattan, in Rockefeller Center and i was "stuck" with 6 hours to spend and half a city to cross...
I Grabbed my camera, and started walking:
Wall St.
this is Wall St', yes, the infamous Wall St.
While Walking around i got Sms'd by Noa(Yes you can Sms me, its the same cost as smsing anyone in israel, you bastards!), and we Sms'd for about 3 hours during which interesting stuff happened :)
I found peace! well sort of, i was in SoHo - The Artisans Area in downtown manhattan, and i went into a coffee shop:
it's pink
to drink some hot cocoa with a scone(call me childish, i dont care, i cant drink coffee, so i drink cocoa :D ) and all of a sudden i heard great jazz music, coming from outside... in the corner street were a group of men playing original jazz, it was so great, i wanted to take their photos, but by the time i finished the cocoa and scone, they were gone. it was the best half hour i had had in a while i think.
i continued my way around SoHo and saw some wonderful stores. there were artists displaying their art on the street:
He called one of these pieces Orgasm, you guess which
I continued my trip uptown and saw a costume shop, i had to get in, i had to find a Friar's Costume(It's been a dream of mine to come to work one day dressed as a friar, with a hood on, and work ;) )but they didnt have it :(.
by 5 i was getting tired and needed a pick-me-up... so i thought about going into a starbucks, but then i saw it:
the bald man himself
The Bald Man, My Buddy Max!
i went in and felt at home, not because of the chocolate, which was great, but because the girl at the cash register was Jewish :D I ordered Italian Hot Chocolate and it was so delicious, it lifted my mood and energized my body.
i continued upwards passing a lot of places on the way(Max Brenner was at 14'th st' and Times Square was at 40'th)
and reached Times Square, yeah, i had to take a picture or two, or 10...


and with 15 minutes to spare, i got to Rockefeller Center and met up with Roee(fritzi) Fridman, Liad, Yael and Molad. we went to a Asian Tapas Place, and there i got to see the meaning of Tapas - Small meal - Large Bill.
i actually think they taxed the 20% tip :p.
we headed up to Roee and Molad's place and watched Boat Trip.
i returned home happy and satisfied.
we made plans to go see a performance last night of an independent rock band - Brazilian Girls but apparently so did most of new york, by the time we got there, it was sold out... so Me, Roee and Molad went to a Pub and drank some, it was quite fun, and cheaper too!
That's about it for me...
as always - there are more photos here.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The City so nice They named it twice...

Feeling a bit nostalgic - they played Gremlins 2 on tv...
If you get the impression that i'm not having fun here, you're dead wrong...
i get to sleep in til very late, walk around, see the beautiful scenery, and relax alot, i also get to have lots of time to think which might sound boring but in fact it's very good.
Monday night was a very long day, we went to Andrea's apartment for a x-mas dinner...
she got married since i saw her last(to someone 14 years older, go figure).
Me, My Dad, His Wife - Eva and Andrea
That's Me, My Dad, His Wife - Eva and Andrea
My Dad, Eva, Andrea and Doriel
and that's Andrea with Doriel(Dodo) - Her Husband.
Anyway, appearently she thought mixing meat and milk is kosher, so i could only eat the dairy food but it was quite enjoyable... They live in the Bronx in an apartment building, he owns the apartment so they pay no rent... I hurried to work, had to get there by 11:30 and barely made it...
the shift itself was boring, nothing interesting, the place was all but empty.
Yuval, the owner, told me that this might be my last shift since he has workers for the new years week... i might go there next week for new years.
yesterday i went to Central park, just to relax and meditate... try to find my muse.
took some great pictures too!
Living in Central Park
I Actually saw at least one 100$ bill in his collection case.
The Poser
The Poser Duck - as soon as this duck saw me with a camera, he raced out of the water, and stood on the rock still, until i took his picture, either he was trained or he has an obsession with being pictured.
City by the Lake
I love this picture, although i might brighten it up a bit...
The World's Largest Menora
I couldnt resist - the worlds largest menora, in front of Central Park :)

After that i went on to FAO Schwarz, people might remember it from Tom Hank's Movie - Big. still don't know what i'm talking about? take a look at this:
Piano Carpet
ahh, memories :D
they had lots of stuff over there, but the most creative things were the magnet peices:
Empire Magnets
Empire state made entirely out of magnets.
and the legos - these two are made entirely of legos. i checked!
Hagrid
Batman
From there i went inside some book stores, looking for a coffee shop :) i finally found a barns and noble with a starbucks, and spend 10 dollars for a cup of hot cocoa and a brownie, it was good, but not worth the 10 dollars.
i finished my trip in Rockefeller Center.
Radio City
and took a picture of the tree.
rockefeller center Tree
ooh, and while looking in Hot Topic(i love that store) i saw some shirt that reminded me of someone, you know who you are :P

there are more pictures - you can find all of them here.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Tis' the season of giving, the season to be happy :D

And i am, actually, I'm very pleased...
I've come to really solid conclusions, about almost everything that happened this year, things i want to take with me to next year(like losing 10 kilos :D, i still havent found them, but i'm calling the search off) yesterday i really had a great time, i was out, walking, just admiring the effort people do to decorate thier house for the holiday, even my father put up a x-mas tree, if only for his new wife, who isnt jewish, though she does celebrate both jewish and christian holidays.
this is thier tree:

(yes, it's a REAL tree, not a fake plastic tree)
and here are some houses and trees from the neighbourhood:



last night we had a big dinner after which my dad drove us to brooklyn, to see how real people decorate their house...
as promised here's a picture within the limo and a picture of some crazy person's house, all decorated:


tonight i'm going to a x-mas dinner with andrea, a girl i met here a year and a half ago, and then i have another shift at the pub, all these lights have inspired me to try and draw something, i'll see how good it comes out, and post it :)

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Just walking About, You wouldn't notice it...

Was Out till 4 am last night, and i'm paying for it now...
not partying nor meeting up with friends, i was working.
My brother's friend owns this place in Hell's Kitchen.
usually they have staff problems during the holidays, so thats where i come in, I work at the door for 2 and a half hours.
checking guest lists if there are any, or escorting people out, when they've had too much to drink.
not much happens, usually everyone is calm...
it's good money, i make 100$ an hour, all under the table :)
the guy who did the shifts before mine quit, too bad, he was a great guy, used to stand with me after his shift was finished. the new person is quite boring, a typical grunt.

the place itself is nice, has a very middle eastern feel to it.
I slept like a log till now, and still am tired...
had 2 dreams that i remembered tonight, noe of which are pleasent, but they might make for interesting horror films, both going on in the subways of new york... that's what i get for taking the subway at 3 am.

time to wake up and get started with the day, happy christmas or whatever

Friday, December 22, 2006

Riding around today...

People seem to like'em, dunno why...
Limousines.
I grew up riding in them, not because i was rich, far from it, we were middle class.
my father always had a thing for driving them.
even now his passion ensues...
So here i am, back in new york, being driven around by my dad, when he's able to, in a limo.
what's worse is the fact that his limos don't have a front passenger seat... so i sit in the back, behind tinted windows, whilst my father drives around, it's these special times that make me feel uncomfortable.
how much things change in less than 2 years...
april 2005 - i visit my dad, everythings great, he's alright and doing good.
december 2005 - i visit my dad and everything's changed, he was recently in a car accident, and can bearly walk, let alone drive or work, he's borrowing money from family.
december 2006 - i visit my dad again - still no compensation from the person responsible or from workers compensation... he's back working, but he had to give up on some things like cable and overseas calling from his cell.
yet on the bright side, he re-opened the limo service, got 3 limos and got married.

was walking around queens today, saw my old house and schools... i really wished the old place would have changed a bit, shown the years that passed as i show them.. alas the school is the same, so's the house, and so are the streets which i used to play in. i guess time affects man a lot harsher than it does location.

it's begining to look alot like x-mas : not just a song for the merry folk, the streets are filled with 2 things season's greetings and memorial flags...
lots of x-mas and(!) hannukah decorations :) alongside the we will remember sep' 11 2001 flags and banners.

i've really come a long way since those days, 11 years ago, seen my share of pain, happyness, joy, fears, hopes... yet i still dont regret any of what i did. been thinking a lot about myself, about the people that sorround me, i've made up my mind on some things, and they opened up new questions that need be answered, not by others, but by me.

i'm invited by andrea, a girl i met up with a year and a half ago to eat a traditional x-mas dinner, but without any unkosher food, so i'm taking her up on that offer :P

here's a fun fact - i dunno why but i love the name Chloe, i'm addicted to it.

that's all for tonight, have a safe night and pleasent dreams

oooh p.s. - i got my order from amazon yesterday!!! Megatokyo volumes 0-4!!!! hurray!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Live from N.Y.

i was bored on the flight, so i wrote a little -
11:41 am Israel time.
on the flight, finally...
i left most of my worries back in israel, off to relax, to meditate a bit, think back, plan ahead...
the take off was pretty unenjoyable for the most part, seems there was a leak from the water pipe of the air conditioner...
guess where most of the water landed.
luckily the passenger next to me acted quickly and gave me a blanket to capture most of it, nice guy, flying with his family back to conneticut where they live.
the oceans beneath are blue and it's a lovely day outside.
that's about it for now i think, took a picture of myself on the plane, yeah i'm bored. so what?



David Bowie + Petshop Boys - Space Boy
mood - happy

1:43 pm israel time...
lunch was made, food was eaten, gum chewed.
the fun part of flying, you cant go anywhere, you're stuck with the people you came on with until you land, best make the best of it ;)
Just watched woody allens' new movie - Scoop, it's very good, surprisingly, i liked it, as a semi dramatic comedy.
there are/should be good movies on this flight, there's little miss sunshine(though i couldnt find which station it was airing on) ant bully and monster house... i think i'll read some more sandman, i have volumes 9 & 10 here and 9 started very interesting :) more to come later methinks.
this battery is too weak for my laptop, it's already on approximatly 20% dunno how much more it'll hold.
classical symphonies play as the movies enter a new cycle.
we're flying over the adriatic sea,looks like slovania near a place between rijeka and zagreb on our way to trieste . outside under us it looks like a sea of clouds, so white and fluffy, seems like you can just go outside and walk over them.

it's pretty freezing outside, like -68 degrees fahrenheit or -53 degrees c.
mood - restricted :)

all in all the flight was good, could'nt go to the bathroom because the guy with the family - he put his two daughters to sleep in the seats between me and the isle... so i was blocked :p

i've arrived, i'm in the big apple, and i've beaten my jetlag with about 13 hours of sleep, and now i'm a functioning member of society :)
i got my megatokyo books from amazon here today, considering i ordered them before the flight, i'm quite impressed...

that's about it for today, tomorrow i'm gonna probably go to the city, manhatten, and see what i can see, maybe meet up with a few friends that served with me :)

g'night!

Saturday, December 16, 2006

I Just don't Know...

Too much stuff on my mind, stuff driving me crazy...
she sms'd me last night, said she was sorry, and I'm left with that.
i don't know what to do now, so much to tell her. so much to say.
yet silence... that's all that comes out. i know i should forgive her, i know i want her as a friend, i know my friends tell me i shouldn't, i know that they tell me that friendship with someone you wanted to date but got rejected by is just wrong, that it never works out. i know a lot, and i have nothing i can do.
ignorance is bliss.
Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope comes to mind, and directly connected by Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
why Friday night? why that great timing? straight before i was to go out with my friends, Celebrating my leave for 3 weeks, New York, Clearing my mind, i guess it was a long time coming.
I Guess now i have another thing to put straight whilst abroad. I'm truly sorry, but your answer shan't come until i return.


Happy Hanukkah! it's the second candle tonight.
Been talking to family and friends about the wedding thing, apparently I'm in better shape than i thought.
i skipped the Drunk Fool Stage, and went straight to the fainting stage.
so i was with my head on the table mostly... only when my brother took me out from the Building did i start to throw up.
it's slightly better that way.
I got more pictures from the wedding, yeah, i know, it's corny, but its still my family.
la Familia
these are from left to right: Limor(my brother's fiancee),Kobi(the groom),Chen(My sister) and Gil(My Brother)
la Familia
here you can see my other sister - Galit.


so Monday Morning is the big day - I'm finally taking my vacation, finally, I'm leaving Israel, leaving this great, terrible, fantastic year behind me. all that's left is to reflect, ponder... maybe i will finally make a decision, maybe I'll get all the answers right next year, but where's the fun in that.
all i know is that i don't want next year to start before I've made peace with this one.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I've Become the Drunk Uncle....

Yesterday, The Wedding, It was Like wow.
Amazing, My sister looked so good, so happy...
I'll let you see for yourselves...
My Sister
I had so much fun, and then it began....
The Waitress, She asked if i wanted something to drink...I asked for something strong.... she kept them coming... i stopped counting after 10... i got pissfaced drunk, and acted a bit tipsy... a bit too much, and well, i puked, alot.
me and my neice
that's my neice, if you're wondering...

anyway, i had a blast, i made a fool of myself, and i enjoyed it...

more pictures are gonna come soon :)

have a great weekend.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Oh What a Weekend...

Just what i needed...
Relaxation.
As promised here's a link to the Pictures from my trip.
Last night I was at a Live performance of an Israeli, well i guess it's Alternative, Correct me if i'm wrong, Band Called Dafna Ve-Ha-Ugiot(Translates into Dafna and The Cookies).
They had an awesome show, and great songs.
it's too bad i didnt bring my camera though...
The band didnt enjoy themselves too much though, aside from the group that i was with(about 15 people) there were like 20 other people and the rest were the bands parents...
the people were so dry that Dafna(The Lead) called people to the floor near the stage, so it would look a little more alive.
i had a great time though, it really helped my spirits.
I Saw Nacho Libre today, Jack Black is funny :) I Want to see Tenacious D's newest movie, but it isnt out here yet(or will it ever be... i dunno).
Was supposed to see a movie today with some friends, but just couldnt bring myself to go. the Big Discussion that was supposed to be about my views for 2007 was delayed to tomorrow night, at 7:30, they're gonna make me sweat bullets.
anyway, that's all the updating for today, in 7 days i'll be packed and ready to go to the u.s. again.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Tis the Season to be happy?

The Winter, I Love the season, but something is missing, i miss the warmth of another.
I've had alot to think about this week - Friends, Work, Relationships, Future...

>>> Rant, i have no idea if this will even make sense, i'm just writing exactly how i feel right now.

I just dont know anymore... and i hate it, i'm changing, i can't call it getting older, just getting sick of things, getting sick of they way people treat me, as if i'm given, i don't matter to them, as if i don't care. the problem is i care too much, and it's always me who winds up getting hurt. i'm selfish, i think of how my actions caused the reactions i get from people, i think "god, it must be so fucking easy to just forget, to be uncaring, cold, manipulative". i see all the people with their choices in life, doing what suits them, above others, having fun, leaving thier sorroundings as they are, damaged, without caring. i'm stuck with an angel on my shoulder telling me how wrong it is to do what i should do, and how not to do this, do that. on top of all that, i get the self centered brats of the world telling me how i'm a jerk, how i only think of myself, how uncaring i am. Fuck it all, just fuck it all to hell. i'm pissed, i'm ticked, i'm hurt, i'm Shallow.
I'm Melodramatic.
I've been called Malodramatic, Bitter, Uncaring and Condesending by a person i care about, my only crime with her was the fact that I cared a great deal for her, and didnt want to see her hurt, tried to shelter her from the pain, gave her the best advice i could, and watched her ignore it. I know my mistakes, i know what i've done wrong, but you know what? if i had a chance to do it all over, i'd still do it the same... i am myself, i dont want to change, i want to be welcomed as who i am, not who they want to see.
Fuck Everything.

So i shelter myself from the world, creating the man you see, and behind the person i am.
Careful not to let anyone in, i've been hurt to many times.
on occasions i let someone have a brief glimpse at the true self, only to see how they react, time for the mask once more.
Lots of people Know who i am, No One Knows Me, that really saddens me.
"The Show of Life Continues, Put on your smiles and play" - L.F.

How am i? Fine, Never Better Boss, Things are on the Up and Up.
<<< Rant

I went shopping for clothes for the wedding on tuesday, called in sick for that, and had a great time actually.
i got myself a nice, unformal, black outfit.
pictures will come with the Wedding ones.
i cant believe it, my sister, only 6 years older than me, getting married in less than 5 days.

Wednesday i went drinking, a couple of friends, Michael, Tola, Me and Noga.
much fun was had, makes me miss my care free days, before life as a soldier.

Preperations for Next year had me working last night till nearly 9 pm, all that and a bag of chips.

Today, As a way of trying to escape, i went on a hike with Noa, Chai, Yoav, Ronen, Itay and Buffy, Itay's Dog, it was fun, got my mind off work, and back to what i want to do with my life. Post Army thoughts, although i have about a year and a half left, i will continue my goals. i must.
Pictures from this trip will be up tomorrow i guess.
I also thought about how lonely i am. but that's a topic for another day, i guess.
How am i?
I am fine, i'm doing great.

10 days, till my vacation in the u.s.
5 days, till my sister gets married.
2 days, till i present my View of 2007 to my superiors.
1 day, saturday to rest.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

you're so far...

15 days till the big day, i'll be off somewhere resting, relaxing, forgetting...
Lack of Sleep hurts now... i slept 2 hours last night...
i find that whenever i sleep less i get mad and think the whole world is against me.
i was on guarding duties at the base this whole weekend, which sucked mostly, there were some highlights... especially Maya, who was a huge laugh during the shy quiet hours of the night, where nothing happens. we went on a beer run, got Touborg, which isnt really beer, but hey, i was driving so i didnt drink anyway.
My sister's wedding is edging closer, its 10 days away and counting.
my family is bombarding me with questions on whom i will be bringing, although i told them that i'm not gonna take anyone... Noa offered to come, i didn't know if she was kidding or serious, not that it matters, i really don't want to play into my family's games, they have to have everything perfect, it annoys me, Life is wonderful because of imperfectness, i wouldnt want to live in a perfect world.
besides, i might meet up with a woman there ;P

anyway i'm gonna crash now, sleep deprevation is taking its toll. have a good one

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Clean...

Finally had the balls to open the letter, after today was a very weird day...
it all started with a long conference between 6 pm and 7:30 pm which was canceled(moved to tomorrow morning at 8:30, no late wake up for me!)
then it included getting lost in tel-aviv, whilst trying to avoid the traffic jams, took me an hour and 15 minutes to get home, i probably would've done it in 40 if i wasn't an idiot.

alright, backtracking, cause i didn't write the full story about what happened 2 weekends ago...
i was at a private party on friday, that much you all know, what happened at the party, well that's another story...
i got drunk, well i was'nt driving back so i didnt care, and i met up with this chick, we played a few drinking games, like whenever your partner drinks, you drink, and so on...
one thing led to another, we ended up having sex(make sexy time ~ sorry i saw Borat friday and it's just too damn funny!!!!). so anyway, i wake up at the place(we were all sleeping there because we weren't in a state to drive back home) and the girl was gone, i asked around and no one knew her, the guard said she came in after someone waved her in... apparently she crashed our party, anyway so i just came to terms with the fact that i just had unprotected sex with a girl i didn't even know, or would ever meet again...
so i do the first logical thing i could, i go get an aids test, saturday night, and i get the results by mail on thursday, and i've been too afraid to check my results.

back to now, after the long drive home, i was half pissed and half weary from the day, so i asked 2 of my friends(who were with me on the drive home) if they wanted to go drink somewhere, they said yes, and i took that as a great time to just open the damn test results, and use the beer as a way to get over it, if needed.

luckily i'm not positive, i'm clean, as far as the test says.
i'm happy for that.
that's about it for today....
go see Borat, you wont regret it!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Oh What a Week

I've been having problems sleeping for like a week and a half, and finally
on wednesday night, i found my rest, a solid 6 hour sleep session.
thursday brought on 11 hours of sleep like a blessing.

it's the end of the year, and my money is going like crazy on stuff i havent even planned on... i have to register my car for the new year, which is like 1000 shekels...

All my plans have gone to ruins...
I was supposed to go to Haifa today, and visit a sick friend, then visit someone whom i haven't seen in a while... but plans change, and i stayed at home, went to play basket ball, the usual story :)
Invader Zim! i've forgotten how good it was.
Me and Li-Or have made Lunch plans to watch the episodes :)
it's cold at night, especially in my room, the only thing keeping me warm now is this bowl of Orange soup - don't look at the screen like that! it's really good, it has yams, pumpkins and carrots in it, and it's the bomb.

my sister's wedding is less than 3 weeks away and now the bugging of the formal clothing has come.
i'm not all that excited, to say the truth, but i guess that's just me... everyone else is crazy, so i get to remain sane.

my flight is 23 days away, i can't wait already, with work being a lot like hell, and my patience wearing thin, i'm doing the best i can just to survive the days.

i cant really complain though, starting december i'm heading a new project which will most likely be very interesting and will require a lot of thinking on my part. call me crazy, but its these things that cause me to enjoy my job, not the constant nothingness that i do now.

that's about it for today.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Something I should Ask about...

late night party,
woke up at 3 pm,
still dazed.


weekend's finally here, this week i havent slept much, been having problems falling asleep... i found myself lying in bed for 4-5 hours, not sleeping, yet not really awake. last night i finally slept :)
Wednesday I drove home from work, and got a flat... I guess that was gods way of telling me to go get a checkup, 700 shekels, 2 new tires and new breaks later, my car is good to go :)
I'm a Weird Al-coholic, and when i saw what jib-jab did to his song, i thought it was spread worthy, look for yourselves and tell me what you think...


have a great week people!

Monday, November 13, 2006

I Might be a tad selfcentered...

--- totally unrelated bits and peices whilst i clear my mind from today ---
Yoav, a good friend of mine, after i started this blog, sent me a link to his blog, and appearently i ignored it, totally... which is sad, and probably not as nice of me.

Today I sms'ed with L, a friend of mine, i really hate sms. it's a fucked up thing... it's so unnatural to talk via short, fixed messages, i guess most people are addicted to it, but thats just not me, i love to hear the person's voice when i talk to him/her.
it's like everyone tries to build barriers with sms's and emails... its easier to say something in cold dead letters than it is to actually say it to someone, hear the breaking of his/her voice, see the facial and body language
she seemed so distant, so cold, she said she was fine, and i want to believe her, but i just can't seem to shake this feeling.

H, another friend of mine, she was in the U.S. till last week and she bought me a Nintendo DS, yes i know, it's a toy, but i'm just a big boy, and i love these gadgets :)

Today i learnt of a potential couple in production(not gonna say who though, that part's a secret) and i'm really glad about it, they both seem fitting for eachother.

Also today, Y, did his releasement thing, he finished his service, after 4 years i think, Y isn't so much a friend, but he's a good guy, he's funny and smart, he's a buddy, not more, we talk occasionally, but not like friends... Spammers in our soul :), anyway Dudu Zhar was there, he's the Israeli equivilant of a Sessami Street Actor here, and he's also Y's addiction... it was so funny when he saw him...

tomorrow is a fun day! - we got a trip to see how chocolate is made and to the museum of science, fun fun! and tomorrow night is a Reunion for the people in the Pearl-Jam concert we saw... it's gonna be a great time :)

that's about it for now... i'm all tired and stuff, havent slept too much these days, and i'm starting to feel it, my head is slower, my muscles ache... god i feel 50, and i'm only 23 :)

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Love, Concequences and Hatred....

I'm back, if anyone noticed... or not...
This last week was one of the best weeks I've had so far...
70 hours of driving around in a car, patrolling and having enough time to think gave me a few insights...

the biggest one being my issues with unrequited love...
it stings, it hurts, it's always there, in the back of your head, giving a false hope, that someday, that person, whomever it shall be, will one day realize that you are much more than a friend, someone that they love, you know, like the movies, but life isn't like that, and sometimes perfect couples don't exist, no matter how much they complete each other, because, well because it isn't a question of that, and waiting will only hurt more and more...
I've had a few of those, women whom i thought were the perfect match for me, but turns out that the more i think that we should be together, the less my chances are with them.
I've decided to let go, I've had 3 women whom i love, i really do, but my love is one sided, and thus wasted...
those girls know(I've talked to 2 of them) or will know, after reading this post, that I'm done, its too hard on me. and you know what, since all three of you do read this post, it's your loss.

I've also decided that I'm gonna start dating out of my "class" - you know the borders of which you know your potential of dating her are valid(think supermodels and geeks...) well, I've had enough of dating in my class, I'm gonna meet someone better than me.

for the first time in a while I'm happy, relieved, i feel so much better...
this guarding trip has totally fixed me up.

i may not be successful, but at least i'm gonna try, and thats more than most people do.

Friday, November 03, 2006

A Ticket in hand...

and nothing to lose...
I need a vacation... i guess that's why i'm taking this "trip" down south...
I volenteered to take guarding duties next week, so i'm gonna go guard a base for a week... i figure a week from work, and the people there will help me clear my head a bit... i hope so.
i also bought a ticket to n.y. for december, i'm gonna go there and relax through new years...

there are a few things i can always count on to cheer me up, a friendly face, beer, trips, "weird al" yankovic and senseless violence ala celebrity death match.

today i've accomplished :
beer.
"weird al"
violence
trip

all in all, it's been good so far...

have a great night!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Death of Pinky...

Or something...
Friendship... somehow you can rely on friends to help you when you're in need... people use that alot, what people don't do normally, is help others when they're in need. i'm sick of it. almost everyone i know killed pinky today.
not by means of murder, no, that would've been kind, but by just plainly turning their back on him, letting him die, alone... well thank you all.
no i really mean it.
I'm finally free, i dont give a damn anymore. it's a whole lot easier.
time to detach, let go.
whoever feels that they're my friends because of some obligation, stop it, i dont care anymore, let us part indifferent than remain strangers.
have a good life.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

I Saw them

I saw them move, I stood there watching
I saw them take boxes, and an electronic item
i saw the people, all sad and crying...
some were happy, a new life before them

at first they were 30, 40 at most.
the rest were not far behind, cleaning and closing.
after a while they finished with their host,
an empty office with no one working.

110 people are gone, not fired.
relocated down to a distant hell
and i stood there sad and tired.
they wont be back, i know that too well.

friends, foes and others left my place of work.
potential girlfriends and homosexual boys.
and also the people who once called me a dork.
they are all gone, they left with their toys.

but in a short while they'll be at their new home.
i wish them a happy future, at least till the end.
to Noa i wish 4 months of quiet wherever she'll roam
at least now Korin will have a close friend.

this wraps up my little attempt to rhyme.

To Noa, Hope you've enjoyed it, I'll miss you!(i'm coming over to your neck of the woods on nov5 :D)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Death...

I might've died last night... Maybe i did...
you never know... no one knows what the after life is like...
it happened... while i was driving home, from a farewell party for Noa...
i dropped off Li-Or and Yael and continued home...
stopped at a red light in a very big junction, noticed my right mirror was crooked.
I leaned over to fix it, never even felt my leg leaving the breaks and the clutch...
didnt even notice the car was moving... thought the moving lights on the mirror were from me moving it.
could've swore that the handbreaks was raised.
I might've died... I died, who knows.
I didn't even care, and that freaks me out. when i returned upright, i saw cars moving infront of me, beeping, yelling... nothing, didn't even flinch...
put the car in reverse... drove back behind the line... I Died... Maybe not here, but somewhere, I am dead.
Thunderstorm above... i love it... the lights, the sounds.
i am tired. i'll lay to sleep and say goodnight

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I'm Pooped + Philosophical Question...

Today must've been the longest and most tiresome day of my life...
I'm a Moron.
really.
I am.
why so? Remember i flew to greece? i took my cell with me, Greece is one hour forward than Israel, so i set the time in the phone one hour forward when i was there, and never set it back(No It Doesnt have GSM Auto Set thingie).
when i need to get up early i use that phone as an Alarm.
but i didnt need an alarm till today, so i set it for 5:30, so i can shower...
so i do that... and go to sleep at 2:30... then i wake up at what seems to be 5:30, and shower, and get ready, then i look at my regular watch, and the time is 5:30... i'm like what the fuck!
yeah, i'm a MORON, i woke up at 4:30 and missed a whole hour's sleep...
add that to the fact that i was in charge of 40 people today, and that sums my poopness.

here's a question i've been having trouble coping with for the last 2 weeks...
let's say you're at a place with almost complete strangers(you know them for like 3 days, and very shallow) except for 1 guy who you know for a while, suppose you're injured or hurt in any sort of way, and the guy you know helps you, along with a couple of strangers...
to whom are you supposed to be more greatful? I dont want an answer only, give me an explination, because on the surface the answer should be twards the guy you know, but somehow, in this world, most people, having been in that situation thank the strangers... it's been bugging me why they do that.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Human Problem, Women and First impressions....

Alright, I'm gonna go philosophical on your asses.
Some of my readers will ask WTF... well it's your effing problem... oh and i'm not gonna use a spellchecker for this post, as i am lazy... deal with it.
before i start, here's some selfish things for myself -
my hair is blonder - the sun bleached it - yay!
i wanna grow my hair longer, as long as i can, and grow a beard, what do you think?

now, this post will have alot of issues that i noticed like from my own, twisted demented mind, so you can comment "you're wrong" and i'll partly expect it, it'll be nice if you show others this post, so that i'll get more comments. for anyone who expects something funny, you can stop reading here...
or here.

alright, so here we start.
The Human Problem - How do you act with people? have you ever changed your personality to fit the situation, the people or even the area? That's the human problem.
If anyone says that they've never acted differently and not like themselves, they are lying, and doing it again right now :)

Example -
I know of myself, i have many personas - my email/written persona;my first impression persona; i have some per friend personas.... not to mention my original persona which is lost to me. i usually switch personas whether i'm talking to N. or L. or B. or S. or A. i'm not talking like a different mood, or tone, but a different person altogether.

it's not like you can't be yourself, but you choose to be someone else, just to please the sorroundings.

i've talked about it today, and it's not easy to choose to be yourself, you find that you arent good enough, and that's not true... for me - i'm gonna try to un-change myself.

and as an added bonus, just to get some more comments...
I havent the face of a model... i don't, that's a fact.
i'm no hot stud, nor do i want to be. but usually i get mistaken for a brute, or a mean person... what can i do... thats how i look like:
Me
but whenever i try to hit on women i usually get the get away from me creep response, or the nice let-down response(either the i like girls response or the i'm not looking for someone right now response :P ) and if all goes well and i pass the first impression phase, and we actually start talking, on rare occasions i get serious with the girl, but most often i get the oh, i really like you but i want your friendship only.
which is annoying as heck...
our society has given up on natural instinct totally... i'm not saying that it's right or wrong, but it's a fact, the natural selection darwin talked about is as dead as he is.
i mean women in general(and when i say in general, i mean those that i met) have no idea what they want... or they say they want something, and when they get it, they dont want it anymore. i mean it's almost impossible to please them.
a friend of mine N.(the same N. from the other post btw) said once that she'd love for someone to just ask her to do something, and after 2 weeks she comes and says oh my god, this guy's just annoying, after he did wat she wanted him to do...
anyway, i'm babbling here, so i'll stop. i'd love to hear the comments from you, even annonymously.

The Sand, The Desert, and Neil Gaiman.

I'll start from before the trip,
The Date - Tuesday October 10Th.
The Place - Icon 2006.
I was waiting in line for the Gaiman signing, and guess where the signing ended? 1 person in front of me, yeah, me and him both were rejected.
Sux.
and I couldn't go to the other signings because I was going on the trip, and as much as I wanted a signature, the trip was way more important than a signature on a book by some author that I wont meet again.

So, Wednesday, we were at a theme park because a friend finished her service(Have Fun at the Ezrachut Ne'ama!)
and then the problems began... the Baggage compartment's lock broke... so I drive to a mechanic, and while he's fixing it, I tell him that i need it fast because today I'm gonna drive to the dead sea, and he's like - don't pay me, you'll need the money for the cab ride back, because that car wont make it back...
We started our 2.5 hour drive down to the Dead sea at around 6, it was dark already... we got to the camp area and started to make camp, it was really dark and the moon hadn't shown it's face yet...
Camp
this is us, preparing food and making camp...
we ate and joked:


The following morning, we woke up at 5, and thought we'd start our trip at 6, but people were tired, and lazy and it rained(First real rain in Israel, and we felt it in the desert!) so we had to wait to call the authorities to see if we could start the track or not...
we finally got the okay and did the track, here are some pictures...








That night plans changed and we went to Ein-Gedi Beach to place camp and sleep...


In case you're wondering that's the moon, not the sun :)
I got a call from Rani who told me that Neil had another signing Friday afternoon.
so i was hyped that I could still get my signature...
It was great, the following morning we drove back to the dead sea, and I sank in the mud a bit, it was icky and fun...
at 1 pm I got home and drove to ramat aviv, to a store called comikaza and finally after all that, got to meet Neil Gaiman, and get his signature!

I Look Like some homeless but i got the sig!
there's a longer story about his signature, but I'm tired so i wont go into that.

you can find more pictures here.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Going Down South for the Weekend

Finally a vacation :)
well it's not Athens, but it's still my most favorite place on earth...
The Negev.
Israel's Wastelands... the desert, the Dead sea.
I love it, at a first glance you see nothing, but soon and very fast, you start noticing how lively the desert is.

anyway, I'm gonna be there from tomorrow afternoon till Friday afternoon.
it's camping, in the desert, with good friends and my camera.
I'll post some pictures when i return.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

So Called Friends and other Shit...

First of all, I'm in a real Crappy Mood so this post will be affected.

I've finally Synced my LJ and My Blog spot so now everything is shown on both Blogs.
You might ask why the fuck would i keep 2 identical blogs? well the answer is simple, some friends find it easier to read the LJ whilst others prefer the blog spot, it really isn't a hassle so i don't mind updating both.

now to the main course of this post, This time I'd love if you comment on this, because I know what I want to do, but other people's advice wont hurt, so if you read this, just gimme a comment, thanks.

I've just started noticing this, but most of my so called "Friends" are total assholes. Keep in mind that i don't mean everyone, because i have some great friends, but the people who call me their friend, just for convenience , how so? well I'll start with the simple things, how about the fact that they don't really care about me?
Case in Point :
Let's Take "N." a "Friend" of mine -
our last conversation went something like this -
N. - "Hey"
Me - "hiya"
N. - "how are you?"
N. - "Listen, can you drive me somewhere? i need to get there but i have no car? c'mon, just do me a small favor".
Me - "I'm Fine By the way."
N. - "Okay great, so will you?"
Me - "Fine..."
now, I'm a bit exaggerating i guess, but i can't remember the last time N. talked to me, just to find out how i feel...
well, that usually goes for most of my friends, they don't give a crap, i mostly start the conversation with them, and usually they respond with short annoying answers that show me that they aren't interested.
the most offensive thing ever is totally ignoring i exist until they needed something.
today, just from the treatment i got with some of these so called friends i got so sick that i threw up... I'm really pissed off now.
anyway, i have an issue with friends, no matter how crappy i get treated i can't seem to say no to them, it's like i feel it's my job to help them... that somehow they'll change one day... they'll realize how they've acted, but to no avail...
I'm gonna confront N. at the very least about that.
Leave me a feedback and let me know what you think about the issue.

I hope I've mellowed my post so it's still sane... i feel so sick right now, i want to die.
gonna go sleep.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Torn Between...

My body is in Israel, I'm physically back, but my mind?
My Mind is still in Greece, still in Athens, back there...

I think the best way to, well for lack of a better word, brag about my trip, I'll use some pictures

Alright, you might find this way corny, but this is the first pigeon I saw when i came to Athens, and that was like after 6 hours there... Apparently the area around our hotel had no pigeons so this lil guy is special.

I don't have pictures of the hotel, but it was located in an area with lots of strip joints, and a couple of hookers(some even stayed at the hotel with customers :))


Alright so I didn't take any more pictures on the first day, and the first picture I took on the second day was this t-shirt stand near the area where the performance was held.


This is Maria, We met her at the performance and she's just awesome, more on that later...

The next few pictures are from the Show, just to show you all how close we were, we were 3'rd row and sometimes first :)










On Yom-Kippur I wanted to go to a synagogue but I couldn't find one, so i went to the acropolis with Kipi, and we just walked around till the nighttime.


After that we hung out with some people from our group:



Monday I went into the city and bought a new IPod Video 30GB, for 220 Euros instead of 300, Haggling is great, especially with people who hardly understand English.

at night, after the fast, we went on a sight seeing tour at night:

and then to a Dance bar, and danced and drank, it was very fun.



Tuesday, Our group split, some people returned back to Israel, so we said our goodbyes, and went to the market.
at night we met up with Maria again and we went to a cafe, had some drinks, laughed and told stories, and then Maria did the sweetest thing, She picked up the tab for all of us, 40 Euros, which is a lot of money in Israel.
we parted from Maria and went to the hotel for our last night...



Wednesday we went to the tourist places:



and then took a cab(6 people including driver in a 5 seat car :D)

that's about it, it was very fun, and I miss it already...

Outtakes -
- i payed 30 shekels for a slice of pizza in Cyprus =D price jacks.